The Drugs You Need

Just in case you haven’t seen this video yet, it’s very cute and creative.

It certainly does represent the way we are made to believe that we NEED some of these dugs on the market today.

After watching this video, pick up the book "Selling Sickness" on for a real shocker about the reality of how the drug companies have sometimes been caught inventing conditions in order to sell their drugs and how some, specific people in high positions at the NIH and FDA have participated in it.


And out of a fit of late-night boredom, here are the lyrics.

You’ve got a headache
And I’ve got some strange disease
Don’t worry about it
This pill will set your mind at ease

It’s called Progenitorivox
It’s made by SquabbMerlCo
It’s a life enhancing miracle
But there are some things you should know

It may cause agitation
Excessive salivation
Male lactation
Rust colored urination
Bad vibrations
Mild electric shock sensations
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need

My disease may not be fatal
But I can ease my fears
By taking two twelve dollar pills
Each day for fifty years
They’ve spent billions to convince me
So now I realize
Beats diet and exercise!

I’ve got insurance
At least for now I do
And if I buy generic
It would cut my cost in two
But I want Progenitorivox!
‘cause I saw it on TV
Those families look so functional
That paisley pill’s for me

But it may cause
Debtor’s prison and deportation
Dark depictions
Dire predictions
Life as seen in Dickens fiction
Empty pocket
Court dockets
May cause eyes to pop from sockets
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
But it’s worth it…
In Canada, they get this for a song!
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need

and finally, during the ending credits is the disclaimer for the drug. It’s probably the best part…

The opinions expressed in this song are not necessarily those of SquabbMerlCo or its subsidiaries. Progenitorivox is not available, anywhere. Offer void in Wisconsin. Any resemblance to actual drugs, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any unauthorized use of your judgment in the application of Progenitorivox is strictly prohibited. Progenitorivox may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. Progenitorivox may cause drowsiness or restlessness in lab animals. Do not resume sexual activity while operating heavy machinery without consulting your physician. For erections lasting longer than four hours, insert your own joke here. If you experience psychotic episodes, you’re crazy. If death occurs, discontinue use of Progenitorivox immediately. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. All sales final. Batteries not included.


  1. Jake on August 13, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    Hi Dave,

    I love that cartoon/video, it is one of my favorites. I am actually reading “Selling Sickness” right now. Take good care! Jake

  2. Willene on August 14, 2007 at 1:04 am

    Couldn’t wait to send it to all my friends. I have gotten off all medications, not that I took that many, but I don’t like taking any of them. I’m a natural girl now and hope to continue living my life that way. Thanks for the good laugh! Willene

  3. Diane Lupinacci on August 14, 2007 at 7:52 am

    I’ve always been so impressed with your health newslettters.

  4. Sal Emelio on September 1, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Dave. Man that was right on. I thought it was right to the point. I can’t thank you enough for all the info. you send. God bless you.

Leave a Comment